Meetings expert jokes about tricks to creating an 'unproductive' meeting

Companies looking to create ‘wildly unproductive’ meetings need to schedule their meetings at inconvenient times, omit details from the invite and start the meeting late.

That’s according to blogger Richard Perfect, writing for businessinsider.com, who has sarcastically listed all of the tips and tricks that meeting organisers should use if they want to ‘waste everyone’s time’.

For instance, those attempting to organise an unproductive meeting should book a conference space with a start time that is inconvenient for everyone involved.

‘The best times for unproductive meetings are lunchtime or after 3.00pm on Friday afternoons. Meetings right before extended holiday weekends are also guaranteed to be unproductive,’ he said, cited by brazencareerist.com.

Another top tip for wasting attendees’ time is to start the meeting late, advises Perfect. As a result, it is essential to start talking about something completely unrelated for ten minutes at the start of the meeting. Recent vacations, football and detailing what was eaten at lunch are ‘good time-wasting topics’, says a dry Perfect.

Finally, attendees should make sure to answer their mobile in the middle of the meeting.

‘If your cell phone rings mid-meeting, answer it right away. The call might be more important than this meeting and will only take a second or two to find out,’ jokes Perfect. ‘Once you’ve told the person, “I’m in a meeting and will call you back later,” give them the opportunity to squeeze in their request anyway.’